1 day left

I tried to write everyday, but I simply couldn't. There was just too much to get done before the big day. We had a small crisis, since one of the members of the committee in charge of my evaluation was supposed to arrive on tuesday and had a medical issue to attend and he couldn't come. For a few hours it seemed like the defense would be postponed. Indefinitely. At first, I felt shocked and very disappointed. I started to think what I would do with all the extra time on my hands. But then, I realized I was just flat out sick of it. Of the whole presentation, the planning, thinking again and again how to say what I wanted to say.  And then something else happened. The opponent, as many people call him, decided to join us through a videoconference. As the week when by, somehow I felt realized and more in control of what I'm gonna say and how I handle myself.

On monday I was very moody, and I cried like a million tears I needed to get out off. It was intense, but at the end I felt relieved and so blessed and happy to be able to finish this stage of my life. As on today, I was more calmed, and quiet and tried desperately to catch every mistake and go through everything once again, just to make sure. I know I missed something, just because it's hard to get everything right, right? Anyway, a few mistakes haven't been out of sight and I've managed to fix them on time.

Anyway, I'm having dinner before 7 p.m.like an old lady and I expect to be in bed at 8 p.m. I don't really know how I feel, I just.... I want to get it over with and I hope the opponents are not ruthless. OK, I'll rehearse one more time, and I hope I get everything right. I hope I don't break into tears of excitement (mostly 'cause I would be very embarrassed). I hope to do a pretty decent job. I hope I'm a rock star tomorrow morning and my audience is wowed by me. Including me.

I'll keep working on my EFT exercises and meditation exercises today and tomorrow before leaving!!!

For now, I'm off!